The 1st Ganton Gathering was Yorkshire MAGs third wet event of this year. Despite the rain, The Ganton Gathering went very well, with no trouble to speak off, just a power problem on Friday night, but the power people were struggling with the rain so we can't complain too much. The organisers have had some great feed back from people who have just enjoyed a small chilled rally of 800 people.
Rally goers started to roll in around lunchtime on Friday and the site soon filled up with the pre-books and around 200 paid on the gate. The Friday night was a laid back evening with the bands playing to an appreciative but chatting audience. After some use of Diesel and a few prayers by East Yorkshire MAG's Ron Gillard, he got the bonfire up and running which burned through the night to what looked like a glorious Saturday.
This was when the orgainsers expected the mass exodus to the coast or the North Yorkshire Moors, so they did not think they would need entertainment on the afternoon. How wrong they were, the showers where heavy and prolonged to quote the weather lady, so 90% of the customers stayed put and drank in the bar.
Looking around at about 10PM, a lot of people were well Pi**ed as they had been drinking for a good 8 hours by then. By the time the organisers had shut the marquee and had a quick tidy up they went round the fire to find about half a dozen people chatting away while the rest where out for the count (having peaked too early !!!).
Sunday was a good day as far as the rain stopped and everyone managed to get packed up and home in the dry. The First Ganton Gathering, in aid of the MAG foundation, can be judged to have been a huge success, despite the somewhat inclement weather.
Only three of Wakefield MAG's meeting 'regulars' made the Ganton Gathering - Jack, John & Jill (real names have not been used to protect the innocent and to save embarrassing the guilty !!). Read Jack's amusing exploits below .....
Ganton Gathering 18th - 20th July 2008
A report by Jack *
Jack and Jill and John had decided to go to the first Ganton Gathering MAG Foundation rally. They were representing the Wakefield branch of MAG and as such, had to be on their very best behaviour and uphold the extremely high standards of this esteemed group (who were renowned for their abilities to drink vast quantities of beer and still remain standing while everyone else crawled around on the floor shouting for Hughie!).
Jack and Jill waited patiently for John in a bus stop lay-by in Wakefield, "where the f**k is he" said Jill sweetly, "what time did you tell him to be here for, you useless t**t". John pulled in to the lay-by and was greeted by Jack. "Hello John, shall I go in front and you take up the rear?". John smiled "thatís OK with me". Jill looked dismayed then a little nervous "err do I, do I ... have to take it up the rear as well ?" she stammered. Jack and John laughed "no, you can go in between me and Jack" said John. Jill shrugged "OK, if I have to".
She swung her leg over her bike. Jill likes having something hard and throbbing between her legs, Jill likes Jack! All three set off in an orderly fashion and lots of people waved as they passed by. Country people have special waves - some clench their fist tightly, others hold either one or two fingers aloft. Jack was laughing loudly, he likes passing through sleepy country villages with the sound from his Harley slash cut pipes setting off car alarms and rattling windows as he goes by. Jill rolled her eyes; John made a sign like he was shaking something very vigorously. Jack likes shaking things vigorously!
They passed through the countryside and farmers came rushing out of their barns brandishing pitchforks - they thought someone was stealing their Massey Ferguson tractors, Oh, what fun they were having. Jillís bike isnít very fast especially with Jill on it and lots of carís joined the convey as they headed east along the A64. Eventually the threesome passed through Ganton and Jack had to slam on the brakes as he saw a sign advertising the MAG event. Jill and John nearly ran into the back of Jack, now they were both making funny wrist shaking signs, how Jack laughed.
They arrived at the rally site and handed in their ticket for which they received a nice blue wrist band, a very nice lady put on Jackís as she held his hand and talked and joked until Jack felt a sharp pain in the leg, Jill has got some hard boots. Jack and John rode round and round the site trying to find a place to pitch their tents.
Jill glowered, "put it here you stupid p*****k and stop f**king about". Jill knows where to put it up. Erecting the tents wasnít easy as it was quite windy and Johns tent filled up like a balloon and threatened to carry John over the hedge into the next field. How Jack laughed as Jill grabbed Johnís flapping tail and yanked it to the ground, how John grimaced.
The three friends decided to have a wander around the rally site and paid a visit to the MAG stand where another very nice lady sold Jack a T shirt, Jill said she could have sold him anything and called Jack a dirty lecherous old g*t, oh, how John laughed. It was time for something to eat so Jack ordered a steak pie with chips and mushy peas. John told Jack he would get fat eating all the pies, Jack said Jill liked lots of pies as well. Jack got up off the ground and rubbed his fat lip, how John laughed. Jill said she felt a bit tired after the long journey and suggested going to bed for awhile before the evenings entertainment began. Jackís eyeís lit up and he started to get quite unnecessarily exited. "Down boy!" growled Jill, "I am going to sleep and so are you if you know whatís good for you". Jack tripped over his bottom lip as he shuffled off back down the hill.
Later in the evening after a nice rest, Jack and Jill crawled out of their tent only to be confronted by 100ís of other tents. Lots of people had arrived and had pitched on every spare scrap of land they could find. Jack, Jill and John suddenly had lots of new neighbours and John was sat talking and drinking the brandy he had been offered. After a big double whopper cheeseburger with mushrooms and onions, the three friends decided to go to the beer tent and listen to the band. Lots of other people were there as well, some were dancing and singing and everyone was drinking.
Jill watched as an attractive lady in a very short skirt and no knickers passed by. "Whereís Jack", she shouted to John, "there he is down there" replied John, "hey look Jill, if you lie on the floor like this and look up you can see this girls m***e" enthused Jack. Jill t**ted Jack. How John laughed. Jack, Jill and John drank so much beer that they couldnít remember how many they had had and were surrounded by empty beer cans. It was some time in the early hours of the morning that the three Wakefield MAG stalwarts staggered back in the direction of their tents trying their best not to trip over the minefield of guy ropes.
Just as Jack closed the zip on the tent the heavens opened and a downpour of biblical proportions befell the campers. Saturday morning arrived and bathed the campsite in bright sunshine. "Lets all go for a ride" suggested Jack, "yes lets" replied John, "shall we go to Whitby, I know the way. "OK then, Iíll go on the back of Jack" said Jill. Jack smiled, he liked Jill on the back. "You will have to go and ask that bloke to move his Ducati so you can get your bike out" commanded Jill. "OK" said Jack.
"Excuse me Sir, would you mind awfully moving your bike so I may get mine out please" Jack asked the big bearded sleeping man. "F**k off and leave it alone" growled the angry man who didnít appear to appreciate being woken from his drunken slumber. "What did he say" asked Jill as Jack came shambling back. "Err, he said he would prefer to move it later" mumbled Jack. "A**ehole" shouted Jill and John in unison, quite loud enough for the angry man to hear. "Where the b****y hell has Jack gone now" demanded Jill. "Isnít that him running away up that hill" laughed John. "Now listen you chicken livered spineless streak of yellow p**s" hissed Jill into Jackís ear, "you go and tell that p***ed up b*****d if he doesnít shift his bike right now you will shift it for him" Jack quivered "err, no need for that my dear, I can easily get my bike between his and the nice peoples tent, just watch this". Jack is a very good bike rider and squeezed through a gap with no more than a 1/8th inch to spare on either side. Jack heard Jill telling John that he is a Ďstuntmaní, at least he thought that is what she said. Jack received a round of applause from all in the nice peopleís tent. Jack is very good at getting in and out of tight spaces!
With John taking up the lead, the two bikes slithered off the campsite and back on the A64 towards Scarborough and then on to Whitby. It was a nice sunny day and after a pleasant uneventful ride the three friend's dismounted in front of the Whistle-stop cafť and sat on the wall drinking coffee.
"Thatís the most uncomfortable f***ing bike Iíve ever been on" stated Jill, "everything vibrates and shakes about", Jack smiled, he had felt Jill vibrating and shaking about behind him. "It felt fine to me" said Jack grinning broadly. Jill gave a snort, John laughed. "Time to eat" announced John, as he led the way to the Magpie Fish and Chip shop. Just as they started to eat their fish and chips the heavens opened and yet another torrential downpour descended on the town. "Quick, come on" urged John "we can get under the bandstand, it will be nice and dry there".
Unfortunately, everyone else in Whitby had the same thought and it was a struggle to find elbow room. "Look at those idiots feeding the b***dy seagulls" protested Jack, pointing to a large man and his even larger wife and two daughters, "donít they realise they are just feathered vermin". "Shush" said Jill, as she attempted to put a hand over Jackís mouth. "Well itís true isnít it, they wouldnít be chucking food around if we were surrounded by rats instead of birds, would they?" Jill saw the large man and his wife scowling at Jack. "I know you're right for a change, but I donít think that man thinks so, come on, we're out of here".
After a walk along the pier and discussions on drowning and other forms of horrible death, Jack said he would like to be stabbed in the back by a jealous husband at the age of 95. John laughed; Jill thought it a bit unlikely. It was still raining when they got back to the bikes. "Have you brought your waterproofs" asked John. "Yes" replied Jack, "They are in my panniers", "and where the f**k are your panniers" enquired Jill. "In the f**king tent" retorted Jack. John laughed. By the time the three friends arrived back at the camp site they were thoroughly drenched. Jill had stopped talking to Jack; Jack was too p**s wet through to care less.
Sometime later in the evening, all three were in a better mood and decided it was time for more beer. The marquee was very crowed and it was difficult finding somewhere to put the chairs. Jack was talking to a man he had met the previous night who was showing him some photoís of a naked man he had photographed earlier in the day. Jill and John were very tired and it wasnít long before they wanted to go to bed. "In a minute" said Jack, who was dancing around to a very good AC/DC tribute band who had agreed to play at the last minute, as whoever it should have been couldnít make it. Jill took Jackís hand and led him protesting from the beer tent. "Shut up, you can still hear them in bed" stated Jill. She was quite right too, the ground was vibrating from the drum beat and screaming guitar soloís filled the night air.
Next morning everything was wet but the sun was shining. "Might as well wait until the tent dries out before we go" said John. "Agreed" said Jill. "Oi, are you the bloke with the Harley?", it was the angry man from the next tent who was standing over Jack. "I have come to apologise, I was out of order and offer my hand in friendship". "Thatís perfectly all right Sir, and I accept your apology" said Jack assertively. "Itís a good job he said that or I was gonna sort him out before we left" said Jack when the large bearded angry man was well out of earshot. "B*****s" shouted Jill and John together. John was wrestling with his tent trying to get it back in his tent bag. When he finally managed it with a little help from Jill, he got a big cheer from a large crowd who were watching in amusement.
The ride home was quite pleasant as the sun was shining and after a stop to look around a camping exhibition and a nice meal in the adjoining pub, the three friends made their way home to Wakefield, all agreeing they had had a really good time and would definitely be going back next year.
* Real names have not been used to protect the innocent and to save embarrassing the guilty.